WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
