Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
