BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
