Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
honey bunches of taint.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
