Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
