We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
