Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize