the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
