dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
