So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
