Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
