My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
