I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize