i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
