I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize