i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
