I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
