when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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