yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
