My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
