guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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