She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
