return my video game
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
