He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
