I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
