im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
