He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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