fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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