just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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