considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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