sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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