"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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