Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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