thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize