I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
