Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
