I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
