A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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