party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
