i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
