Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
