imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
