You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize