Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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