Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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