I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
