haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize