I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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