whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh god it's open bar.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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