Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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