I want to stick my p in your. b.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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