If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
