don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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