Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
