Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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