I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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