Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
