my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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