exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
