you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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